


Devout

by Oscarthegrouch



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Anal Sex, Both of them are Extraordinarily Out of Character, Gender Issues, Homophobia, Hurt, I'm technically not a writer but I try, Jason is the ugly little duckling, Jumbled Thoughts, Lots of Angry Sex, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Vampirism, Not Beta Read, Not Really Unrequited Love, Oral Sex, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Relationships, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:12:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9183211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oscarthegrouch/pseuds/Oscarthegrouch
Summary: I bury myself in your chest and inhale deeply. I smile at your ever-scowling face. ''I missed you'', I say. You don't reply but you stroke my lower back. I try kissing your chin but your hands push me away. Your brow is furrowed. I wonder if you are angry with me but you say: ''Go prepare yourself'' so I dismiss it.I put on a little show; let my clothes slide off slowly from my body, I open my legs more than I need and when I slip two fingers in my hole I moan loudly in an exaggerated manner.I put too much oil. It dribbles from the fingers trusting into my pucker to the sheets. I love the need I see when you watch it drip. The way you look at me in general when I am preparing myself. I know you only think about me in these moments. My eyes are fixed on your eyes but yours are fixed on my moving fingers. I let another fake moan and your eyes glint. Your hand reaches for your crotch to palm it and I see your fangs timidly peeking from your upper lip. I laugh, ''Getting, impatient are we?'' Your hand drops and my smile does in turn when I see your face. ''You are going to stop that.'' you say. Your voice is burning ice. I stop fingering myself. I don't understand why you are mad at me.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Words literally came tumbling on the keys from my brain to the board, the plot is barely existent.  
> This is a sad and dirty fic.

Rain falls on your face. The drops slide, they slash at your forehead, your cheeks, and trickle to gather at your chin and fall like big fat tears.  
You open your eyes. They are angry. Burning craters mirroring the violence in your heart. Your whole body trembles, the fury courses like electricity through your veins.

It's cold and I get goosebumps looking at you.  
The glass is cool on my forehead. I shiver.

…..............

You usually don't look at me, either you're too angry or too busy eyeing the girls. 

You prowl like a golden lion in the crowd they have formed around you. They are like flies swarming around sweet honey.

No matter how burning and spicy your words may be, I am sure you do taste like sweet, sweet honey.

…................

Today though you do. Your eyes slide up and down my body. I don't know why you are looking but it is making me uneasy. I have waited for this day, the one you will notice me and now I don't know what to do with myself.  
I look once again in your direction but you are not watching anymore.

I thought that was it. I had had thirty seconds of your attention and that was all I would ever get.

But it wasn't.

You came to me later. I was alone, body against the wall, watching the opposite one. 

I guess I was a bit lost.

When you came I simply stood there, your eyes were fixed on me. You stopped once you were very close to my face, I didn't turn it around then. My heart was thrumming heavily in my chest. I am sure you could hear it because you lay your hand on it and you made an amused sound.  
I faced you then and the intensity of your gaze screwed me on the spot. Delicately you grazed your nose on the skin of my neck, I shivered and that's when you grabbed me by the neck and took me to your room.

We passed by people on the way, they knew where we were going, what you were going to do to me.

I wasn't the first and I won't be the last. How should I feel about this ? I am not sure.

Once the door was closed you got impatient. Your hand let go of me, it felt cold again.  
You ordered me to strip. So I did. Your words were law.

There wasn't a lot of light. The curtains floated with the wind escaping the opened window. They let in irregularly the orange light of dusk.  
Under its lighting my skin looked yellow and it glowed. I am tall and fit, my muscles are defined. I am actually taller than you. But here under your watch I am small and frail.

You look hungry. You want to devour me, I see it. You grab me and throw me on the bed. You bite me. Hard, and it has nothing romantic like I would have imagined. It just hurts. There is no tenderness. No heart chanting the same rhythm and no lungs breathing each other's air. Just the tearing of my flesh.

After a hard suck you release my skin. Then you take me by the hair and press my face into the pillow. My bare rear is up in the air and in between the cleft you dive two fingers.  
I feel your nails scrape against my insides, it hurts and I suppress a scream. I have wanted you for so long, I am scared of rejecting you.

Your preparation is rough but it will have to do because you drive your hard member in me and despite the pain I moan ''master'', but what I really wanted to say was your name.

All I can do is hold fast so my knees don't give up and my spine doesn't shatter through the force of your blows.

Your palms are two blazing irons against my skin. I feel sweat gathering at my forehead and my neck. It hits repeatedly the pillow under your coming and going.  
Your hands are trapping my hips. I have no control over my body, I can't move. It is difficult to breath against the pillow, I drool on it because I don't have the time to close my mouth when you plunge back in me and I am violently projected against it. I am like a marionette in your hands. You manipulate me for your pleasure and I can't say I'd deny you if I could.

You draw all the way to the red angry head of you mushroom and when you push back in me, each time, you groan.

It is the same sound a smith would make, hammering a piece of steal or a woodcutter chumping some wood with an ax. Is it a tedious thing my love, making love to me ? I hope not. I want to do it again with you.

Did I moan under you ? I don't remember. I am too hot to think clearly, everywhere burns. I must have though, for at one point you breathed against my neck: ''You like that, don't you ? You needy slut!''. I cried at your words and you grabbed my cock . It was weeping so much, you told me I was as wet as a woman. To tease me you smeared my precume on my balls.

I came with a choked scream, you must have been excited by the pain in my voice because you bit me so hard my legs gave up. I didn't matter. Your arms were here, strong and steady in the madness of my desire.

This time you didn't release me. You kept your mouth on my shoulder teeth clenched around it. As tight as my hole gaping at your shaft.

Afterward I don't remember. I fainted. Probably from the blood lost.  
You must have continued banging me. I am know awake on my back and I can sense the dried cum that has gathered on my inner thighs. 

…..............

You came once. I repeated to myself that there won't be any seconds. I didn't want to hope.

You're not really the reliable type.

You didn't seek me for a few. I threw longing looks in your direction. You never returned them. Never even saw them.

 

But one day, I was carrying something. Bringing it to the kitchens when someone grabbed my ass. I turned to slap them but I saw it was you. You pressed your body against mine and bit me under the jaw. 

I couldn't believe my luck.

You fucked me in the dark staircase that day. And you came back after that. Finding me. Taking me where and when it pleased you with anger and urgency.

The week, the whole week following, I am happy and giddy. I don't walk, I skip. I don't talk, I sing. You whom I have watched from afar and venerated with all of my heart, you looked at me, you touched me, you desired me! I feel light. So light that any word spilling from my mouth is a laugh, each step is a dance. So light that my eyes are constantly teary from joy. I am the sun itself!

And then I come down from my high and I notice. I notice the glances that I get from the servants. I notice the glances from the members of the court. I notice the absence of glances coming from the ruling family. I don't understand. We were discreet. Nobody should bother. Why? 

I hear people talk. They do not talk about me. They talk about Lord Todd. They say he's a lost cause. They say he's sick. They say he's deranged and has morbid sexual preferences. 

I am the morbid sexual preference. They think it's disgusting. Two men laying in bed together. I had never thought of it. Never thought of us as two men laying in bed together. Just as me and you. Me and you.

I choose to pay no mind. It will fade I think. I continue being a sun.

But there is a dinner, and someone throws a jab at you. Something about discovering knew interests. It's referring to us. There is a silence at the table. The guests look at you. Lord Wayne stands very still and Lord Drake looks mortified. I am in the back. Roasted peacock on a silver platter in hand. Waiting to be called upon with the other servants. 

I look at you I wait for your answer. For once you don't blow up. You dismiss the insult with the back of your hand. You laugh and say you might have indulged yourself when you had needed a quick mindless fuck. You joke about the pain it is having to retrieve oneself right before the bliss. Having to control yourself in order not to have a bastard. 

I want to cry. Of course I was a replacement. 

I was there, waiting at your feet. 

The easy choice. 

The easy solution. Easier than finding a girl, to sweet talk her and then being careful in bed with her. Lord Wayne would not tolerate any bastards. You could've fucked me as much as you'd liked, I'd never become pregnant.

A hole to put your dick in. That's all I was to you. I should have remembered that.

They laugh with you now. You laugh with them. But I know my Lord's face. You are angry. Angry that someone tried to humiliate you. I am an opening. A new flaw. And Lord Wayne isn't laughing either.

I am the one that got you into trouble.

You're going to hate me.

Nobody wants to be hated by Jason Todd.

…..............

Tonight I cry. It has been a week now. You haven't touched me, talked to me or looked at me. Your words from that dinner are confirmed.  
But something uglier is lurking. I sense it. Because I know you and I know you are not ignoring me by lack of interest. You ignore me by despise.

I should have guessed that these nights you were feeling guilty for being with a man. It had been obvious though. Just once in public you brought me to your room. Afterward it had been undercover. Usually you would flaunt. Everybody knew when you were about to score.  
And the way you took me too. Never really taking care of me. Never kissing me or even exploring my body. You just stuck yourself in me and took some blood. And their was the urgency of your movements, the way you hasted me out of your sight after it.

You never really looked in my eyes. 

….............

How could I have been so stupid as to think that I was your favorite? Who did I think I was? 

I am just me...


	2. Chapter 2

I was waiting for it and it came. Your rage. Your hate, your vengeance. But you needn't punishing me. Having you hating me was already enough. It flayed my heart and I hated my guts.

It starts with little things. You make me trip. You shove me. You knock over the platter carrying the hot milk you asked me for. Making me clean the mess while I have to hear you say that I am useless.

I don't even feel anything when you do it. I wasn't expecting something different.

But the time when you purposely comment on my humanity in front of one of your friends I break down in front of you and cry.

It's not my fault if I'm just a human, it's not my fault if I can't bear any children, it's not my fault if I'm just a commoner. It's not my fault..it's not my fault.

My parents died and I was sold. I am nothing and you're the closest thing on Earth to a God, nearly immortal, fierce, knowledgeable and beautiful beyond belief.

I shiver all night in my bed, I am so scared that you'll sell me to another family. That Master Wayne will consider me useless and disposibale as I know I am. I just want to stay here, close to you. Even though you loath me, I still love you. It hurts but I still love you. 

I know I am pretty. Every servant tells me so, and every look I get from the nobles tell me so. Here in the kitchen, they call me Robin. Because I'm happy, because I dance and sing always, all the time. I'm everybody's friend. I'm a ray of sunshine in this castle, I am pure. I repeat those sentences in my head, trying to convince myself, refusing to fall further in the spiral you sent me in.

But how I miss you, so much, so dearly.

If you could as much at look at me again. Once more, just once more, for two seconds, just a bit..

…..............

Even though you mock me, even though you glare and curse. I still love you. It's okay, you're safe with me. I try to say it with my eyes, my face, too pour as much love and emotion as I possibly can.

I remember your favorite color, yellow, the color of luck and happiness. Early in   
the morning I go, searching for dandelions and fetching honeysuckle. I compose a little bouquet and leave it on your bed. 

Without having to ask you knew it was me.

You didn't exactly appreciate the attention...

…...............

I'm in the laudry room, folding some sheets, when a brutal hand shoves my face to the boards. I scream, I'm scared, I don't want to die. 

You smack my head against the floor for good mesures then you start ripping my clothes off. Tears stream down my face as I wonder what you're going to do to me. 

I here your belt falling to the ground and I ready myself for a harsh penetration. Instead you take some run-up and whip me with the belt. I yell. The belt hits my skin again and again and again and again. I scream to the top of my lungs. It feels like a betrayal, I just wanted to please you.

When I beg you to stop you yank me by the hair so that I can face you. There's caked blood from my opened supraorbital arch and my face is swollen by my tears. 

Your green eyes are so full of hate that I start crying once again. You unhand me and let me fall to the ground. I want to say ''I love you'' but I can't speak from all the scraming I've done. 

…..............

After a week I am still sore and sad. At least you've stopped bullying me. 

Lady Stephanie asks me to deliver you some tea and I shudder. I don't want to anger you with my presence.

….............

I climb up the stairs, trembling. Walking as slowly as possible as not to spill anything on the floors. 

When I knock on the door and you say ''come in'' my heart skips a beat.

You start saying ''you took your sweet time'' but don't finish your sentence as you realize it's me. 

You are sitting on your bed reading a book, your stormy eyes are calm so I decide to approach. Slowly I direct myself towards the night table.

I leave the platter there and bow. Before I can straighten myself you grab me by the nape and throw me on the matress. 

I'm so scared I forget to breath. ''I'm sorry I say, Lady Stephanie sent me, I swear'' I clench my eyes as hard as I can waiting for something hurtful to happen. Instead I just here a chuckle. 

Your get me naked once again, take of your belt and I start trembling. It makes you smile. ''I like it when you're scared of me.. whore'' I wince a the words. but I can't help being overjoyed at the thought of you bedding me again.

You pull out your member. Its nice and hard. Then you part my legs with your knees. 

I don't know for how long he takes me that afternoon but when I'm finally dismissed, the sun is setting. I am full of his cum, everywhere. I can taste it in my mouth, feel it dripping from my pucker. I know I have some on my hair, my back, my face..

I have difficulty walking or seeing. I'm probably going to faint from the sexual strain and the blood loss but I couldn't care less.

…..............

The next day you come find me in the stables and make me take your member in your mouth. In the evening you come too and this time you suck mine and I can't believe what is happening to me. My lord's mouth is red and warm, trying to give me pleasure. You don't close your eyes once as you blow me. Green meets blue and I come so hard I have to put a hand against the wall as not to fall.

It seems that you can't take your hands off of me. Your tongue is always eager for the taste my breached veins give and your cock can't have a day without using me. 

You continue insulting me, hiting me but I am so drunk on you I barely realize it. 

I do see your cruel face laughing at me when you make me cry as I catch you fucking a plump red head. 

But you always come to me, again and again feeding me with your cum and claiming me with your teeth. 

Now I know that these bruising hands were not for the sake of passion, rather a punishment to me, for tempting you.

…..............

I bury myself in your chest and inhale deeply. I smile at your ever-scowling face. ''I missed you'', I say. You don't reply but you stroke my lower back. I try kissing your chin but your hands push me away. Your brow is furrowed. I wonder if you are angry with me but you say: ''Go prepare yourself'' so I dismiss it.

I put on a little show; let my clothes slide off slowly from my body, I open my legs more than I need and when I slip two fingers in my hole I moan loudly in an exaggerated manner.

I put too much oil. It dribbles from the fingers trusting into my pucker to the sheets. I love the need I see when you watch it drip. The way you look at me in general when I am preparing myself. I know you only think about me in these moments. My eyes are fixed on your eyes but yours are fixed on my moving fingers. I let another fake moan and your eyes glint. Your hand reaches for your crotch to palm it and I see your fangs timidly peeking from your upper lip. I laugh, ''Getting, impatient are we?'' Your hand drops and my smile does in turn when I see your face. ''You are going to stop that.'' you say. Your voice is burning ice. I stop fingering myself. I don't understand why you are mad at me. 

….............

Whilst you sleep I stroke your hair. They are rough and unruly. I stroke your forehead too and then your nose. Us together in the bed, you asleep, me with my hand in your hair...it's as if we were lovers.

I don't have a lot of occasions to do it. You're out cold today. You got in a fight with Tim. Bruce took his side.  
You were very angry when you took me. A melting wave of lava. My body is the canvas of your hurt.  
You bruised me. More than usual. You said I was useless. Just a dry cunt.  
You still took me. Without any preparation. That was my punishment for not being a women.

Is it wrong for me to think it is okay? Because now you're peaceful and you are asleep. I'll give anything to you Jason.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank-you for reading!


End file.
